And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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