Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
