there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
