I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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