My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize