Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
