just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
