meet me or not, i'm out of control
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
