dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
