I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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