i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
