Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
