I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize