So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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