somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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