if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
