Pants 0. Shit 1.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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