okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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