no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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