What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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