i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
