Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
