I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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