She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
