Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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