He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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