i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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