Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
