It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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