What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize