Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
