i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
