You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
