I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
