Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
