i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
