that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
