white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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