lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
