Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
