I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
