I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
