Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize