did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This is my gift to your gina
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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