I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
