Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
