Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
