i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
