Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
