i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
