I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
