is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
