My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
