she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
