just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
