It's Friday. Sex?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
