Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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