btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Non-Jews are for practice
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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