I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
