im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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