Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
