whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
