she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
