i was rollin on her like bob the builder
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
